Advice For New Moms From the Experts (Other Moms)

Recently I asked my Facebook fans for their best advice for new moms.  They came up with some wonderful thoughts!  Sorry I couldn't duplicate every word, there was so much good stuff. 

Some time-tested wise advice:

• Take one day at a time. There will be good ones and bad ones.
• Remember to take time for yourself.
• Enjoy every stage.  Don't get too eager for time to pass, because it will!
• If someone offers help with cleaning and cooking, take it!  Enjoy time with your baby.
• Nap when your baby naps!
• Don't say "I'm going to see if I can breastfeed." You're setting yourself up for frustration and failure.  Just say "I'm going to breastfeed."  Learn to nurse lying down, it's so much nicer than getting up to feed the baby!
• Don't try to be Super Mom.  Telling someone you need help is the best thing you can do for you and your baby.
• Remember that you're not alone.  Talk stuff out with someone who's going through the same thing, or who's been there.  The good (first smiles), the bad (first fever), and the ugly (when you can barely hold your head up because you're so sleep-deprived), share it with a friend.  They'll cry with you and encourage you when the poop hits the fan (literally). 
• Have wine chilling in the fridge for when the baby finally goes to sleep.
• Don't stress over a messy house.  Dishes, dust bunnies, and dirty laundry are much less important than a happy baby and a happy (and rested) mommy!

Lots of confidence builders:

• Don't let anyone make you feel incompetent.  You're NOT!
• Trust your Mama instinct.  You are the expert on your own baby!
• Don't be afraid to make different choices than your family, friends, and society in general.
• Do what feels right.  Forget what the "experts" say and trust your mommy gut.
• Read books and consult experts for ideas, but RELAX!  You are a good parent regardless of what anyone says.
• Even brand new first-time moms have a natural instinct to care for their babies.  Follow the mother/baby cues that you naturally get, whether or not that's what grandma or neighbor or random stranger says.
• Trust your gut over the doctors and books.

And several variations on some non-advice:

• Go with your gut and ignore all the unsolicited advice you'll get.
• Lots of people will give you advice.  It's ok not to take it.
• Don't listen to any advice.  Just explore and enjoy your baby, and you will find a rhythm that works for you.

Favorites:

• Allow your mate to learn/discover/do tasks on his own.  It's ok if he doesn't do things the exact same way you do.  The willingness to help and the love poured into the task is what matters.
• Think big, even strategically, for your family.  Don't get discouraged by day-to-day activities, remember that you're raising your children to be wonderful adults.
• Get to know the language of your baby and answer them when they "talk" to you - always.
• Read aloud to your child, even from an early age when you think they don't understand you - they're listening.  Let them touch and hold the books, even if they wreck a few, it's a small price to pay for a child who loves literature.   

Please share this golden advice with new moms and pregnant friends!  Feel free to add your own in the comments.