Getting rid of "should"

Man, I love the Daily Groove from EnjoyParenting.com.  It's a quick couple-paragraph email that comes every weekday morning, takes about 2 minutes or less to read, inspiring us to be more open and loving, presenting parenting as a "win-win" situation for kids and parents. 

A few days ago they focused on eliminating "should" from your world. 

Imagine a world with no shame and blame...

This is something I've been working on the past few years.  "Should" is automatically followed by guilt, by definition.  So I've tried to eliminate the word from my vocabulary.  Either I "will" or I "won't" do whatever, but no "should" or "shouldn't."  If you think about it, "should" is just plain wishy-washy anyway.  :-) 

Extending this idea to my parenting has been illumninating.  Whenever I think my kids "should" do something, that tells me I'm not 100% committed to it.  So now I try to think before I speak, "Is this negotiable?"  If not, then I need to present it as non-negotiable, and explain why.  If it is negotiable, I just have a preference for a particular outcome, then I need to present it to my kids as such, along with my most convincing rationale.  But there is empowerment and learning in allowing them to make decisions. 

Go on...  Join me in enjoying parenting!  :-)